I Want to Look Into Your Eyes Again

It's been 10 years.  Humans exist like this, spending their days staring at the toilet in the corner.  Am I rehabilitated? I reflect on my sin and wonder what happened to my innocence and youth.  My mind is sick and my depraved actions are a testament to that.  Now I sit and wait.  Wait for what? Wait for the inevitable torture.  I shudder at the thought of his hands again reaching down my pants. 

I made a deal.  A package of cigarettes for a length of rope.  I contemplate what I'm about to do and realize that I will never find salvation in this cell.  I raise my head and see the moon is shining brightly through the window.  What is the date? Being in solitary does that to you.  It doesn't take long for the delirium to set in.  Then the imaginary ticking...tick, tick, tick.  It's maddening.    I feel the coursesness of the rope as I slide it through my fingers.  It is time to disrobe.  The rope is flexible and the noose is easy to tie.  I fling it over the bar above and secure it around my neck.  I take a step.  The choking is unbearable and I'm suffocating.  The haze invades, but before I die, one last vision appears before me: