There's so much to say. Usually I don't have such a difficult time articulating myself.  But today, for some reason, the words won't come.......

Days later......

For years I just haven't felt like myself.  I used to be a very independent person.  I still am in some ways.  I used to think nothing of going to the movies or a concert by myself. 

Somehow that all changed.  I am much more timid than I used to be.  I'm trying to figure out how it all happened. Perhaps it comes with age.  My intuition tells me I've lost my innocence;I've become corrupt.  People have tried to change me, mold me into the person they want me to be.  I feel like my soul has been stolen. So out of survival, I've adapted to avoid further antagonism.  This has left me empty.  It haunts me.  I just want to live in a state of oblivion.  I guess that's why people become drug addicts and alcoholics;it relieves one of their misery.  I won't go down that path though.  Instead, I will listen to Chritina Auguilera's song "Soar"-





.  My situation isn't hopeless.  I just want to re-capture some of my spirit.  I want to be happy!


So last night I went to Lincoln Woods by myself.  I celebrated the summer solstice with a little ritual. It really helped.  I didn't want to obsess over all my bullshit.  I immersed myself in my favorite hobby, photography.  I lit a candle, burned sandalwood-rose incense, and wrote in my journal.  AHH...me time.